This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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