she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize