I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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