You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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