so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize