Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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