omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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