we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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