he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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