I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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