Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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