You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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