I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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