Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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