Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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