My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize