He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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