i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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