he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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