My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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