His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
wow bdsm is so cute
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