miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize