I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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