She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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