We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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