You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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