If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
As shirtless as possible
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize