I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
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2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
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There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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