Having a random hookup so left but love u
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize