That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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