Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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