Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
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I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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