would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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