Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize