She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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