It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize