I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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