I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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