i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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