listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
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So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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