Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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