im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
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Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
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You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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