she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize