drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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