Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize