Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize