im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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