I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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