so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
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I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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