I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just found puke in my bra..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize